Written by Jack Durkin

One of my favorite aspects about D&D is that it allows you to create any character you want to play as. The Internet’s full of guides on how to optimize D&D, rating every aspect of the game to determine each feature, spell, and mechanic to go with what’s mathematically “best.” But you know what can also be fun? Creating a thematic character and going with it. And since a certain sports league had its 57th championship game a few weeks ago and I wanted to honor a well-played game, I figured I’d do some theorycrafting of my own and consider how to build a character with its roots in America’s most popular sport. And with some imagination (and very clear conversations with your DM if such an idea is okay) it’s possible in more ways than you might expect. Just be sure to make it clear that any reference to any real-world organizations, companies or individuals that might appear in this document or your roleplay is purely coincidental. You know, for legal reasons.

1) Your Patron

The first big choice when creating a Warlock is your character’s Patron, a powerful and mysterious (possibly evil, possibly not) entity who has granted you a fragment of its power. These offer unique spells and features tied to your Patron’s origins. For instance; a Dao Genie grants Earth-based spells that can make for a sturdy linesman defender; the Undying can offer the secrets of eternal life for a longer career; those with a gift from a Hexblade are well-suited towards melee combat and gain proficiency in the equipment to match; And the Fiendish Patrons allow their subjects State Farm sponsorships the ability to heal by defeating your enemies and influencing luck to suit your favor. Each choice can serve as the starting point that leads in a multitude of directions, but also provide some fascinating insights into the Warlock’s character. What drove them to align with their Patron? What are their personal goals and what could tempt them away from or further down that path? Would they leave their original team for the promise of that championship ring? Will they retire after their most recent ayahuasca trip in Central America? It’s your character, only you can decide.

2) Your First Spells/Limits

No sugarcoating this one, the Warlock gets some meager spellcasting abilities at first glance. At level 1, you’ve got 2 known spells (not counting those from your Patron), 2 cantrips, and 1 spell slot to work with. And while Eldritch Blast is a popular choice for those who wish to stay in the pocket with a reliable source of damage (and can be modified with more damage/utility), let’s consider some more options. Lightning Lure would be a secondary’s dream spell, while those in the trenches would prefer to take something like Green-Flame Blade. And don’t just think about combat potential only, the fact that Prestidigitation allows one to clean objects makes it worth considering for anyone who’s had to clean up a locker room. I hope it’s clear by now: your spells don’t just need to be tied to mechanical utility, they can also provide personal flavor that truly makes your Warlock your own. Even if it’s as absurd as the concept of “football player turned Warlock”.

3) Your Invocations

At the 2nd level of Warlock you gain access to Eldritch Invocations which are a series of unique features that can fine-tune Warlock spells and grant access to spells outside the Warlock’s normal spell list. This is where your vision for your character can truly start to take shape. You can gain spells that offer maneuverability like Levitate, Jump, or Freedom of Movement. You can modify Eldritch Blast to move enemies further or closer towards you, reduce their speed, or snipe them from over twice as far away. Or maybe summon assistance using an improved Find Familiar (more on that in our next entry), casting Animate Dead or Conjure Elemental. There is even the ability to read all writing via Eyes of the Rune Keeper, which means that no matter what language the playbook is written in, you can figure it out with no problem (perfect for that move to Florida). Keep in mind some invocations are locked behind levels, Pact Boons, or Warlock spells/features you’ve chosen, so plan ahead.

4) Your Pact Boon

The Warlock’s 3rd level milestone sees them given a Pact Boon courtesy of their Patron, and each offers their preferred playstyle. Warlocks already leaning towards melee combat will have much to gain from the Pact of the Blade, which takes that hard-hitting nature and goes all in. For those looking to round out their spell list, the Pact of the Tome gives Warlocks free spells and the ability to learn even more over the course of a campaign. And there’s also the Pact of the Chain, which grants you your own personal familiar that can work in tandem with your abilities to scout or even control the field (plus they can deliver some devastating spells that would otherwise require you to be face-to-face with the enemy). But as the newest and potentially most relevant to football option, may I suggest the Pact of the Talisman? It grants you a pool of d4 dice that can be used to influence the refs the very fates themselves, potentially saving yourself or your allies from the consequences of a failed ability check. Because you know that wasn’t pass interference and that they missed the holding call on the other team anyways.

5) Your Mystic Arcanum

At the Warlock’s 9th level, their spellcasting situation isn’t that much better than at level 1: 10 spells known, 3 cantrips, and 2 spell slots. To make matters worse, taking a Warlock to level 20 only gets you a grand total of 15 spells known, 4 cantrips, and 4 spell slots that are automatically cast at 5th level. But when your Warlock reaches 11th level you get access to a Mystic Arcanum, a secret from your Patron that gives you access to one 6th level spell per long rest. And every 2nd level afterwards (13th, 15th, and 17th levels) you gain another spell of a higher tier up to the D&D cap of 9th-level spells. These last four spells contain some heavy hitters that can reshape an encounter and you have access to one each per long rest. They tend to be a lot more complicated, so you may have to stretch your imagination to make them fit with a football analogy, but if you get a character to that point there's a chance you’ve had enough time to learn the gist of playing as a Warlock and will already know what to pick. 

D&D’s 5th Edition has captured the imaginations of players, DMs, and audiences because it allows an accessible and relatively simple way to create any manner of character, setting, or campaign your heart desires. The Warlock is a fine example of this with enough versatility to cover just about any role the party requires. Feel free to take this as an inspirational guide to spinning a character off from even the most absurd ideas and making it work for you. Once you’re at the table, just be sure to manage your spell slots, have a clear idea how your Patron fits with your character and DM’s world, and most importantly think about how much fun you and the rest of your table can have if your Patron is Bill Belichick or Uncle Rico.